My ideal meal starts off with an assortment of artisan cheeses followed by a rare steak complete with sauteed mushrooms, mashed potatoes, and asparagus all smothered in some sort of buttery sauce and washed down with a fifth of bourbon. Depending on whether I got paid that week I may swing for the chocolate cake or just go home and inevitably eat a couple of slices of cheese. So when my girlfriend asked if I wanted to do the Whole 30 with her I incorrectly guessed I would be eating thirty different grilled cheese sandwiches in thirty days, and laughed her off when she actually told me what it was. After further consideration, and a little pressing from her, I have been swayed. Figuring what the hell: I may/or may not be addicted to Tums, cheese [not dairy] is my most consumed food group, I don’t understand the concept of not attending at least one Happy Hour a week, and I’m slightly above my target weight, I’m jumping right in.
I don’t really know what to expect, other than I’m supposed to be detoxing my body, and “pushing the reset button.” Their website claims that this will “change my life”… but I’m quite skeptical… a couple handles of whiskey and a night out in Vegas with the boys could just as easily change my life.
I mentally prepared today by brunching at Freehouse, consuming bloody marys, and snacking on Christmas cookies…I’m seeing a McPick 2 in store for my dinner. We shopped at three different grocery stores and spent what would normally provide enough groceries for six weeks… also, why the hell is Trader Joe’s parking lot so small… like what’s the point? But here goes nothing…I was just handed a bankers box worth of food to take home to start off the week to get my new lifestyle going.
Tomorrow the real fun begins.